country club mimosas and making in-n-out our bitch for the next few days.

it’s been a whole year.

A message from Anonymous

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and I want to tell him that I have a weird fettish about getting mushroom slapped before sex but I'm afraid to tell him because I think he'll judge me. suggestions?

marry me.

A message from Anonymous

how do you NOT get herpes? Sincerely, I have STD's

sincerely, thanks for telling me after i’ve engaged in coitus with you continuously for the past year.

A message from Anonymous

like oh my gawd how do you fist a girl because yeahr but nor but i wasnt even there so it dont even matter. you know trish? YEAH WELL I NEVER SAID SUMFIN OR NUFFIN ABOUT HER SO LEAVE HER OUT OF IT we only burnt down the peter pan ride AS A JOKE

i h8 u.

but can you wake someone up before 8 and be like ‘oh i made you breakfast’ and they’ll think it’s cute and ignore the fact that it’s really fucking early..