fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

fawun:

 

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

nosdrinker:

you’re insecure

don’t know what for

let the bodies hit the floor

sappling:

how many “take me to the museum and make out with me” posts can y’all make like damn you’re horny and pretentious we get it

missturdle:

believemeitsdouche:

all I really want in life is a weeaboo vs anglophile death match

IN THIS CORNER, ORIENTALISM AND BUTCHERED JAPANESE!

AND IN THIS CORNER, BRITISH IMPERIALISM AND BENDYDICK CUMMERBUND!

WEEABOO VS. TEABOO.

ONLY ONE CULTURAL FETISH MAY LEAVE. 

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.

eatthecake-anime:

bottomprivilege:

driver roll up the partition

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pleathe

LET HER LIVE

rubykatewriting:

blowawayblues:

An episode of criminal minds where women are being killed in order of their names as they fulfill Mambo Number 5 lyrics.

lambtime:

driver roll up the partition please, i don’t need you seeing me eat all this cheese